Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
