Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
