drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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