I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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