I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
