Already got asked if we're dating
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
