Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
