Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
