i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
