What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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