Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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