Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
