I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
