I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
