if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
