No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
