I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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