do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
