P.S. I can't hear my feet
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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