I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
