i think my tv is drunk
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
