worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
