But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
