it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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