love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
