so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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