How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
she peed on how many people?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
