oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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