You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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