I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
