is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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