I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
COCAINE IS GR8
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
