yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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