i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
