put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
