I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
