Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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