It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Panties = found
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