I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
