We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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