butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
