you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
