I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
