we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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