how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
