So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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