Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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