Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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