I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she looked like the before picture.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
