I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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