Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My pussy is not your playground.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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